for real, for real and not for fake.

I'm switching over :)

Here!

Finally.

No more fickle. No more scared. No more self-conscious.

Taking this baby by the hand and RUNNING with it ;)

Haha. I'm sleepy. That explains it, no? Maybe a little? Heh.

Theme song for today: Jason Mraz's The Remedy.

Peace out, guys! See you at my new thought bubble home :)

Comments would be nice every now and again ;) Just sayin'

this is my call, i belong to you.

It was really sunny today! :) And warm too!

I was happy :)

But not only because of that. Remember my post about Easter? How i was struggling with the idea of it?

Today during worship, it suddenly hit me. It really is worthy of celebration. Woohoo! Sorry, i'm a little slow, i know. Rumor has it that i was dropped on my head many a time as a child. I blame gravity.

Anyway, explanation time.

I guess something we tend to forget when we think of Jesus is that He was human. We imagine him being this man in a shiny white robe that sparkles and blinds, floating around healing one sick person after another. *insert awe music*

But He was a human being just like us. He felt hunger, temptation, loneliness and had a need to be loved too. He was made out of flesh and blood and felt pain the same way that we do, physical and emotional.

The main thing that came into my head today was Garden of Gethsemane. So i read it up, in all 4 gospels.

In Matthew 26: 38, "He told them, 'My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and watch with me.'" In 26: 39, he goes on to say, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet, I want your will, not mine."

In Mark 14: 36, "'Abba, Father,' he said, 'everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet, I want your will, not mine.'"

In Luke 22: 44, "He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood."

John 17 is a really good one. I'm not gonna type it all out. But read it if you will and/or want to. It's good. Very... enlightening.

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Do you see how i see it now?

This man was going to die. And he fully understood the weight of it all, the pain that he had to bear. He was scared. He wanted out, if it was possible. But more than anything, he wanted the will of his Father to be done.

Can you imagine his desperation that "his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood". Imagine this mental image.. Close up to this man's forehead, he is kneeling face down on the ground in desperation, crying out to his Father for help. So desperate that the sweat that is forming on his forehead is piling up to big droplets, heavy enough for gravity to pull it's weight down. That was how desperate he was!

I found the whole thing very symbolic. Although it does not even come close to what Jesus had to experience, but don't we all go through this?

Don't we all have moments when we are just kneeling face down on the ground before God, praying that he will relieve us from our pain/ fears/ worries?

So anyways, cut the preach-y short, Jesus went through with it, bore the pain in full force (I cannot even begin to imagine what that was like), and well, died.

BUT here comes the good news! :) He resurrected! It's good! The sun is shining again! People have been set free! He returned to his original glory! Hearts are on fire! All is happy clappy! :)

And THAT is why we celebrate Easter.

I'm glad.

Next year, par-taaaaaaaay! :) :) :) Wanna join me?

Peace Out! Forgive the preach-y please ;)

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All verses taken from NLT. All emphasis added by me.

hey, lovers!

despite advice from many people, 5 in total, asking me not to do it, i started a wordpress blog :P

i have like 2 posts on my wordpress blog.

i still can't figure it out and shall stick with blogger for now :)

the only reason why i was gonna switch was because i can't take this boring theme! and all of blogger's boring themes! and i don't have the brains or the time to sift through a million and 3 different blog skins :P

blogger is so much more simple and makes life easier :) but i think that wordpress' gazillion functions makes it very attractive too. we'll see ;)

on a side note, no, i cannot blog without smileys :) how else will you read my emotions? gosh.

i was told i was hard to read. i hope it's in a good way though.

But how can it possibly be good?

i don't know. maybe?

This is the wordpress address : http://raycheerache.wordpress.com

I'm not sure if i'm switching yeeeeT!

Having major writer's block. Or actually, life block.

Everything just seems to be on a stand still.

My motivation and passion seem to have left me.

Maybe it's just today.

Maybe it really is the time for change. The time to just drop everything and start anew.

Maybe it starts with a new blog.

Something definitely needs to change. Or i WILL shoot myself.

Peace OUt! :)

I may be sad today but i still love y'all! :)

idealistic idealisms.

Confidence, i read, is the problem.

But i think that maturity is.

Like the song Your Head's Too Big by the Ditty Bops goes, "Your head's so big and tall, i'm surprised your thoughts are small."

Yes, a confident person will not be ashamed of who he/ she is. But will they ever know how to draw the line between confidence and self-love?

Yes, confidence is attractive. But what if confidence seeps into arrogance?

I feel that's where maturity steps in and interjects. I need maturity. And i daresay, even before confidence. But it's hard to believe that confidence is not where maturity is :)

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"Live through this and you won't look back."
Your Ex-lover is Dead by Stars

"Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures."
Nothing Better by The Postal Service

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i feel like switching over to wordpress ~_~ just coz it looks better. i dunno. should i?

but i've been using blogger for so many years! and i'm a loyal person! hehe :P

the concept of it all.

So today i was talking to a friend who never goes to church.

It was like 2 in the morning. And i'm not usually up this late when there's church in the morning but i was too full to go to sleep. Long story short, i was talking to my friend. And he says, "I have to go soon, Rachel. I have to wake up to go to church for Easter Service."

My eyes almost popped out of my head.. No. Out of it's socket? Maybe that's the better way to say it.

Easter has never been a big deal for me. (Oh no! What crazy talk is this?)

To me, the great thing about Easter is that someone created a Bunny who hides our pretty chocolate eggs.

Don't get me wrong. I know the theory behind Easter. It's a day of celebration. It's the day that Jesus resurrected :)

It's a day to remind us of His goodness and mercy and grace. Yes.

But shouldn't we be reminded of all that daily? Well, if not daily, constantly? (I admit that i don't do it as often as i should. But i am reminded of it more than ONCE a year.)

I don't know. For the past few days, this is what i have been struggling with. The idea of Easter.

Should it just be ONE day where we get all religious and go to church because Jesus died and rose again, that's cool and we should give him props?

Shouldn't it be submitting to His grace everyday?

Maybe someone can give me some insight? I don't have the answer or even a clue on this one.

Perhaps i will get some insight tomorrow at church :P i can't be missing Easter Service now can i? Hahaha.

For now, I'm just going to sleep and pray that Easter Service will do miracles in my friend's life. That he will give more than props to Jesus but perhaps maybe his life too? :)

Peace out!

i bookmarked the page that said;

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him." - Matthew Henry

Yay? Yay. Yay!

It's true though. That's why sometimes i don't understand girls that control their boyfriends or just their guy friends in general.

...Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him...

And i also don't understand girls who are too scared to stand up to certain guys in their lives. Or that will do or "sacrifice" so many things for the guy that they "love".

...neither out of his feet to be trampled by him...

I think that we should realize the truth and stop receiving the information we get from the world as rules that we should live by.

The truth is, we were made "...out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him..."

And this is bringing things back to perspective, back to it's original glory. The glory it was intended to be.

I think we should just let God tell the story instead of trying to write it ourselves. He is good. Very very good. And the outcome would be far greater, more exciting, and far more beautiful than we can ever imagine or expect :) :) :)

That's my God!

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Phew! Long day today.

i want to wear blue.

but i own nothing that's blue. like really blue, y'know.

oh well.

apple juice!

i love LovE LOVE apple juice. i can't explain it. i just do! i walked to a 24 hour deli in the really cold cold cold just to get me some apple juice. and mmmmhmm.. it's good and i'm happy :) :) :) it's filled with vitamin c too!

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i LOVE this song. It's too cute! :)



I realized that so many people are searching for the same thing. Love.

It's funny.

I'm not gonna lie, i am too.

But it's kinda funny that that's what most people are looking for. Why does it seem like we're losing out on something if we don't have this love? Strange.

I'm not talking about love from God or family because most of us have it.

But i'm talking about love, love. Being in love with someone else. Sharing a special relationship with someone else that only the 2 of you own.

The people that write/ sing about love are the awesomest, funniest, smartest and wittiest people i've come across. And i just find it strange that they can't seem to find that perfect someone.

But maybe, just maybe, that perfect someone doesn't exist? And if we just drop those crazy expectations, we'll be able to find that perfect someone?

I refuse to believe that. Ha!

Ok bye!

My Attention Span.

... or the lack thereof.

So i just realized today, more like, agreed with the fact that i have the shortest attention span in the whole universe times 212. Haha! Yes. I'm being a drama queen again. So sue me :P omg. green and pink reminds me of watermelons! whee!

Why I Came To This Conclusion:

1. People constantly tell me how bad my attention span is.
2. Today, I was supposed to wash the hand-cloth in the restaurant. I was kinda excited because I just learned how to do it yesterday and it means that I get to escape the busy-ness of the restaurant. So, i was happily going to the basement, being proud of myself for being handed this huuuuge responsibility, thinking of what a greeeeaaaat hand-cloth-washer i am going to be. I went to the machine, put in all the cloth, and turned it on. *Sigh of relief* "Good job, Rachel.", I say to myself. 2 hours later, i had to take the cloth out of the machine. On the way back to the machine, i realized that i forgot to put in the detergent. *Doink!*
3. Usually when people talk to me, i hear the first 2 words and stare at them as if i'm listening intently. After about 30 seconds, if they're sentence ends with their voice going higher, indicating that it was a question they just asked, i go, "Huh? Whaaaaaat?". Wait. I do that when they say statements too. Haha :P
   
4. In long conversations, i get distracted by the blue sky, clouds in different shapes that tell a story, birds, food, anything around me that's soft, cushy and cuddly. Or the song that is stuck in my head. Or a random incident that happened anytime from 3 minutes to 3 years ago.
5. As I type this, I'm in the middle of reading an email on my hotmail account AND in the middle of replying an email on my gmail account.
6. I have so many other examples but i'm already distracted and can do this no more.

Heheheeee!

The weather was pretty today :) I wish i could have been outdoors the whole day! But i have to work. Oh well.

Daddy told me a story of how hard he had to work when he was my age. So now i'm motivated to do the same. No more complaining! Woo-Hoo!

I miss my parents :( They're always so wise :) :) :)


"Listen to mommy and daddy! They're right most of the time!"

Not Feeling The Colors.

I changed the background to gray :) It's dark gray so there's hardly a difference.

I don't like it. But i don't really like black either.

What should i do?

Use blog skins? But those things confuse me. Eek! ~_~

My internet wasn't working yesterday so i had to sit in my living room for the first time since i moved here. It was fun! We listened to my roommate's old records...


... and spoke japanese! I kid you not. One of my roommates is japanese and his friend from japan came over. Fun times! I got to practice my japanese. So it was good! :)

And for the first time, 80% of us who live in the apartment were home at the same time. Yay!

Yes. I get over-excited over stupid things. Hehehee!

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I had a fun but tiring day today. But fun. And i definitely over-ate. *shame shame* hehe

My internet is still broken. It was working fine this morning and i was excited. But it's not working anymore. I have to connect the cable directly to my computer. And sit in the living room. I feel like i'm living in a dorm. Haha.

I bought a pink dice to hang on my phone! Me like. It's the pooofy kind. I don't know how to explain it.

Remember how i used to have this blue one in high school that i bring everywheeeere?! Hehehe. I'm such a dork. But i like it. Dice, i mean. Not being a dork :P But maybe that too! I dunno. Pfft.

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Good lines from songs:-

"Life can be so simple if we all just learn to pray"
Every Little Thing by Hawk Nelson

"If you don't mind would you tell me all your hopes and fears and everything that you believe in. Would you make a difference in the world? I'd love for you to take me into a deeper conversation."
Deeper Conversation by Yuna

"Son, fear is the heart of love."
A Lack of Color by Death Cab For Cutie

"You and me, we couldn't stand being normal. That's why we make a good you and me."
You and Me by Plain White T's

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Loud loud party next door. I wish the walls were thicker. But the music makes me feel like I'm in Space :) :) :) So i guess it's not all thaaaat bad :P