this is my call, i belong to you.

It was really sunny today! :) And warm too!

I was happy :)

But not only because of that. Remember my post about Easter? How i was struggling with the idea of it?

Today during worship, it suddenly hit me. It really is worthy of celebration. Woohoo! Sorry, i'm a little slow, i know. Rumor has it that i was dropped on my head many a time as a child. I blame gravity.

Anyway, explanation time.

I guess something we tend to forget when we think of Jesus is that He was human. We imagine him being this man in a shiny white robe that sparkles and blinds, floating around healing one sick person after another. *insert awe music*

But He was a human being just like us. He felt hunger, temptation, loneliness and had a need to be loved too. He was made out of flesh and blood and felt pain the same way that we do, physical and emotional.

The main thing that came into my head today was Garden of Gethsemane. So i read it up, in all 4 gospels.

In Matthew 26: 38, "He told them, 'My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and watch with me.'" In 26: 39, he goes on to say, "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet, I want your will, not mine."

In Mark 14: 36, "'Abba, Father,' he said, 'everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet, I want your will, not mine.'"

In Luke 22: 44, "He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood."

John 17 is a really good one. I'm not gonna type it all out. But read it if you will and/or want to. It's good. Very... enlightening.

---

Do you see how i see it now?

This man was going to die. And he fully understood the weight of it all, the pain that he had to bear. He was scared. He wanted out, if it was possible. But more than anything, he wanted the will of his Father to be done.

Can you imagine his desperation that "his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood". Imagine this mental image.. Close up to this man's forehead, he is kneeling face down on the ground in desperation, crying out to his Father for help. So desperate that the sweat that is forming on his forehead is piling up to big droplets, heavy enough for gravity to pull it's weight down. That was how desperate he was!

I found the whole thing very symbolic. Although it does not even come close to what Jesus had to experience, but don't we all go through this?

Don't we all have moments when we are just kneeling face down on the ground before God, praying that he will relieve us from our pain/ fears/ worries?

So anyways, cut the preach-y short, Jesus went through with it, bore the pain in full force (I cannot even begin to imagine what that was like), and well, died.

BUT here comes the good news! :) He resurrected! It's good! The sun is shining again! People have been set free! He returned to his original glory! Hearts are on fire! All is happy clappy! :)

And THAT is why we celebrate Easter.

I'm glad.

Next year, par-taaaaaaaay! :) :) :) Wanna join me?

Peace Out! Forgive the preach-y please ;)

---

All verses taken from NLT. All emphasis added by me.

the concept of it all.

So today i was talking to a friend who never goes to church.

It was like 2 in the morning. And i'm not usually up this late when there's church in the morning but i was too full to go to sleep. Long story short, i was talking to my friend. And he says, "I have to go soon, Rachel. I have to wake up to go to church for Easter Service."

My eyes almost popped out of my head.. No. Out of it's socket? Maybe that's the better way to say it.

Easter has never been a big deal for me. (Oh no! What crazy talk is this?)

To me, the great thing about Easter is that someone created a Bunny who hides our pretty chocolate eggs.

Don't get me wrong. I know the theory behind Easter. It's a day of celebration. It's the day that Jesus resurrected :)

It's a day to remind us of His goodness and mercy and grace. Yes.

But shouldn't we be reminded of all that daily? Well, if not daily, constantly? (I admit that i don't do it as often as i should. But i am reminded of it more than ONCE a year.)

I don't know. For the past few days, this is what i have been struggling with. The idea of Easter.

Should it just be ONE day where we get all religious and go to church because Jesus died and rose again, that's cool and we should give him props?

Shouldn't it be submitting to His grace everyday?

Maybe someone can give me some insight? I don't have the answer or even a clue on this one.

Perhaps i will get some insight tomorrow at church :P i can't be missing Easter Service now can i? Hahaha.

For now, I'm just going to sleep and pray that Easter Service will do miracles in my friend's life. That he will give more than props to Jesus but perhaps maybe his life too? :)

Peace out!

i bookmarked the page that said;

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him." - Matthew Henry

Yay? Yay. Yay!

It's true though. That's why sometimes i don't understand girls that control their boyfriends or just their guy friends in general.

...Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him...

And i also don't understand girls who are too scared to stand up to certain guys in their lives. Or that will do or "sacrifice" so many things for the guy that they "love".

...neither out of his feet to be trampled by him...

I think that we should realize the truth and stop receiving the information we get from the world as rules that we should live by.

The truth is, we were made "...out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him..."

And this is bringing things back to perspective, back to it's original glory. The glory it was intended to be.

I think we should just let God tell the story instead of trying to write it ourselves. He is good. Very very good. And the outcome would be far greater, more exciting, and far more beautiful than we can ever imagine or expect :) :) :)

That's my God!

---

Phew! Long day today.

The Upper East Side.

It's true.

It exists. It's a real community with waaaay too much money.

I haven't mentioned it here but I got a serving job in a japanese restaurant on the upper east side. Yippee! And today was my first day.

It's soooo much work. But i shall not go into details. That will be for another day.

The Upper East Siders or UES-ers, as i like to call them, vary in shape and sizes and.. dum dum dum.. temperament.

Here's a list of the various ones i've encountered:

1. The weirdo who thinks he's all that because he has a company credit card. (Now, don't be confused. He is not a true UES-er. He just works in the neighborhood and likes to imagine being one of them, reserving his "usual spot" at 12pm every afternoon at his favorite japanese restaurant, where he can eat pretentious and expensive food for free and drink his diet coke with his pinky sticking out as he sips from the straw. Oh wait forgive me. His lemon diet coke. And, i kid you not, it's more than one guy. I'm not pin-pointing. A few of these walk in on the same day.)
2. The female lunch time regulars. (Definitely Liquor on the table at some point of the day. Huge engagement rings on their left ring-finger. Scrolling their Blackberries. Designer sweaters that do not flatter them. Hair tied up in pony tail. Gossiping about emails they've received. Nice people.)
3. The Rich College Couple. (Go watch Gossip Girl. Very similar. I personally do not watch GG but have heard much and seen a couple of episodes. So i'm hoping this statement does them justice.)
4. The Perfect Family with 2 kids below 12. (It is definitely every child's (or adults with slightly deprived childhood) dream to be part of this family. Parents with good tempers talking to their children like their adults. Joking around. Happy smiles. Never gets angry even when a certain first-day waitress took the wrong order. Parents who asks their children if they want dessert. Need I say more?)
5. My favorite, the BLACK AmEx card. (Oh, my heart, it just swooned. I touched it. It was in my hands. The Black AmEx card that I've only heard of. I heard you can buy a private jet with this card. It is that amazing. It doesn't even feel like a regular credit card. Private Jet. Black Card. My hands. Do the math.)
6. The People Who Knows They're Rich and Smirks at You Every Chance They Get. (Casually drops the fact that they are wearing a (very hideous, mind you) Versace shirt. Tries ordering sake but does not know what type there are. Names an unknown brand of sake and claims that it exists. Does not know what they want but pretend that they've got the whole menu memorized.)

---

Diner Dash has definitely trained me well to work in a restaurant. It's exactly the same. Just that it physically hurts. Hahaha! :P

---

Today i feel like doing this. So I did. And here you go.

[Insert Name Here], you can only be the best person you can be. Then, you have to leave the rest of it to God. If God wills it, and if it's in his plan for you, which makes it the best thing for you, it will happen for you. Good things will come. You just have to make sure your heart is in the right place, where God is. And not where your understanding brings you. Not everything your sight shows you is true. The road doesn't end at the vanishing point. It keeps going on and on and on. You don't see past the vanishing point. But God KNOWS what lies beyond the vanishing point. It's along the lines of what you've always dreamed of but better, more amazing, and beyond your WILDEST imagination. Yay! :)

This thought and belief is one of the major reasons why I am always so happy. Even when bad things happen. But these last few months, I have lost sight of it. Let's just say that it was in my blindspot. Hence, many the emo posts.

So now that I see it again, just thought i'd share.

---

"Tip MORE!"

Super tired but don't know why i can't sleep. Must be the adrenaline.

:) :) :) Smiles for EVERYONE!!! :) :) :)

i wish i could be as awesome as this list. ha!

Here are some things I really want to do. But have not. Simple and achievable ones. Not like my crazy ambitions. Heh.

1. Have a really good conversation over an equally good glass/ bottle of wine with a special someone.
Talking about serious stuff and laughing at silly jokes.
With Death Cab For Cutie playing softly in the background and occasionally getting up to dance :)




2. Running around in the rain with friends.
And giggling my head off, sliding around the wet streets with people I love the most :)


3. Cycling under the clear blue sky on a big green field.
One time alone. And another with company ;)
Just to admire the beauty of creation and to inhale fresh air :)



So that's the list.
Hooray! I hope I can strike at least one of them off this year :)
Oh me oh my. I think i'm actually growing up!
And looking at things realistically. *gasp*

---

Because I stalk people on Facebook, i found out that some of my friends are "In A Relationship", to quote the Facebook status. And it made me really excited and happy for them! :)

Some of them are people younger than me and i'm like, "Wahh! They're all grown up!" *smiles to self*

So yeahh, all their happy pictures made my heart smile :) It also made me giggle very loudly when i was using the public computers in NYFA and made heads turn.

But it's all good. Yes, random. So sue me :P

---

Life is not awesome right now. (I've only really said this less than 5 times in my life coz I don't like negativity too much) And my trusting in God is really being tested. Hard.

BUT to quote Dory, sometimes we just gotta, "Just keep swimmin' Just keep swimmin"

*wink*

"You aussies, hug a koala bear for me will ya?!" :P

Sleepy time. Loves.

---

PS. Today was so so so cold, my teeth hurt when i open my mouth. Heheheee!

Give Me Wings. Or Hide Me Under Yours.

It's nice to see pretty people together.

Pretty boys always always have pretty girlfriends. And pretty girls.. Well.. Most of the time, have pretty boyfriends.

So what happens to the rest of us? :P

Sometimes, i find it sad that all the pretty (i'm not talking about appearance. no no, not at all) guys are taken.

I want a pretty guy to sing for me and...


:)

Yes. That would be very nice indeed.

---

As much as guys like to be called Heroes, girls like to be fought for, to know that she is worth the battle.

And she usually is.

I wish guys could see that and grow some!

You can't be called a Hero unless you actually save and protect someone.

---

I want to go bungee jumping!! WhoopDeeDoo!! Wanna come with? :) :) :)

---

Today was all about grace. I needed it.

I needed to know that it is done. There's nothing i can do to change it. He died for me.

I couldn't have prevented it. I couldn't have made it better. All i can do is to accept it and move on with life.

I have to live my life. The life that he fought for. The life that he suffered for.

He is still fighting for my heart. He wants it, all of it, more than I can ever comprehend.

Why am I holding back?




"Garbage in trash can please. And ice cream in Rachel's mouth please. Thank you!" :)

maybe i won't die when i'm 40.

Not too long ago, i had to let go my dream of being a hobo coz i just wasn't cut out for it. And i speak from experience.

And now, i think i have to give up my dream of dying at 40 :(

I know i can't really dictate it. Heck, i might die tomorrow. *knock knock wood* But 40 was the goal :)

I wanted to have achieved everything i want to do in life and.. well.. die. Happy! :)

But now that i'm at the "mid-point" *gasp!*, all my dreams seem so far away. There are so many things to do and so little time!

Now i know why my uncle was sooooo upset when he turned 40. He haven't achieved half the things that he wanted to.

I hope that i can at least achieve 2/3rds of what i want to do by the time i'm 40. I'll be happy enough :) :) :)

I just need to focus focus hocus pocus!

---

On a lighter note, I was feeling very upset yesterday (Haha. Irony. I'm a fan.). I really don't know why. I think it's PMS. Heh heh.

And it made me almost break my fast. (I'm practicing Lent this year) I feel like i'm hanging by a thread and it's only been 6 days! How did Jesus do 40 days? How does anyone do 40 days?

But God, being who He is, is always good. And despite being upset yesterday, He still managed to give me a bounce in my step when i thought about chocolate croissant and tea :) Yummm..

He gave me the peace i needed when i went to bed. The nightmares I've been having for the past week didn't come back.

I just LOVE being His little girl. And jumping around in my cute little pink TuTu to bring a smile onto His face.


---

I don't usually post lyrics, but here's a good one ;)

Jesus loves me this I know,
For the bible tells me so,
Little ones to him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me when I'm good,
When I do the things I should,
Jesus loves me when I'm bad,
Though it makes him very sad.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The bible tells me so.

---

It stings every time I read it. I don't want to make Him sad.

"Wash your socks clean clean!"

Addicted.

Soon Do Bu. Oh how you make my heart beat faster. My nose crinkles up in excitement when i smell your scent. My mouth waters like a rushing river when i think about you. Oh, my Soon Do Bu. Oh how i wish i could spend the rest of my life with you.

I'm so freaking addicted to Soon Do Bu. It's a korean dish with tofu. Lots and lots of tofu. And it's so so so good. I wish i knew how to cook it. I shall learn! *determined* It's so good. But it's a good 10 bucks >.< No monehhh!

---

There was a snow storm (that's what the weather report called it anyway) today. I was supposed to move but i couldn't because there was too much snow! I was kinda upset. But secretly, i haven't even finished packing. So maybe it's a good thing?

BUT at the same time, all i can think about ALL day is Soon Do Bu but I'm not gonna run out in the cold and wet streets just to spend too much money on it. So i guess i'll have to wait till next week. But i'm moving far away from my Soon Do Bu heaven. That makes me kinda sad.

---

Have NOT found a job. Feel like killing myself (not in the actual sense but in my head).

---

I wish i was a cartoon character.

---

It's the first day of Lent :)

I've never really celebrated Lent. I usually only do it in August in Malaysia when we have the 40-day fast and prayer book.

But this year, I decided to celebrate Lent :) So we'll see how that goes ;) Hehe

---

Once again, I've been very much humbled by God. You know sometimes when you kinda know that He's speaking to you? It's so amazing. It's so amazing to know that the great and almighty God is chasing after our hearts.

---

"Don't eat the snow on the streets!"

---

And that is how my head works. Thoughts scattered everywhere. Ha!

Loves.

My 100th :)

Yay! It's finally heeeeere! I've been counting and counting and writing and writing, waiting for this very moment. My 100th post! Woot Woot! :) :) :)

It's no big deal, i know. But anything that's a hundred, just amazes me! :)

And yes, I'm easily amused.

Sooooo.. *awkward silent moment*.. *whistles*.. *looks around*..

---

Been dealing with a lot lately. But i'm still trying to make myself go through the motions. Pray. Read. Eat. Sleep.

Trying to learn After Effects is starting to take a toll on me. I'm just getting really tired and everything seems so meaningless.

Like one of my favorite versus says, "Vanity of vanities; all is vanity." --Ecclesiastes 1:2

And this is from the wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon. He's a man who was given all the knowledge and wisdom in the world. Yet, he concluded that all is vain. All is meaningless.

I can read this book in the Bible over and over again and never get bored. I get something new every time. It's a really short book, only 12 chapters :)

It gets good though. He explains everything he says and makes really really good points. What he's trying to say when he says "meaningless", is that everything that we do comes down to choice. We can choose to feel hopeless about it, or we can follow God and His plan for us. That's why at the end of each "theory", King Solomon says that all is meaningless anyways. Hebrew word: hebel :)

---

I'm at this point in my life where I have to make a lot of decisions. I know what I want. And i really hope it works out. Right now, I don't see how any of my dreams will work out. But i'm just gonna keep working till I get there. SO here's the list.

1. I want to get as much experience as possible in Film.
2. I want to spend 6 months working in a farm in Australia/ New Zealand :)
3. I want to be a bungee jumping instructor for a year. Somewhere exciting.
4. I want to live in a foreign country, delivering baked goods. A beautiful country, like Spain or something. (Ok. maybe not baked goods. But a fun job like that, you know?)
   
5. I just wanna travel the world. Company would be good :)
   
6. I want to drink a pretentious cup of espresso in an European country by the street corner.
7. BoraBora! Of course....... :P
8. After all that, i still want to be able to come back into Film and finally become a Director.

I don't know how ANY of this is going to be possible. I might laugh about it in 5 years. Or i might read it again and be like "No. 2, 3, 6. Check!" :) :) :) I am hoping for the latter.

"Smile at someone just to make their day!"

*manvoice* and this has been a community outreach by Banana Pumpkin Squarepants.

Mixed Emotions, a Ta-ag, and An Overdue Apology.

I've a feeling that this is going to be a long one and a really mixed up and messy one. Just like what I'm feeling right about now.

OK. First of all, I just graduated and it just hit me that this is a major change in my life and the next move I take is going to determine where I'm going.

I'm not going to lie, I'm extreeeeemely freaked out.

I don't know where or how this feeling came about but I feel unwanted. Crazy right?! I know. Psychology friends! Help! Eeek!

This is going to seep into my Tag (by the lovely Sarah and Alexaxaxaxa!) so i'm just going to start it now. 10 random things, facts, habits, or goals about me.

1. I believe in living with passion and love for what you do. But as many have said, that's not going to feed me or give me a place to live.
2. I always have to chew on something when I'm nervous.
3. I absolutely LOVE candy.
4. I like colors! Lots of them! Jumbled together! It makes me happyyyyy :)
5. Sometimes, all i need to get me through a tough day is someone else's smile or laughter.
6. I'm a sucker for teddy bears and flowers (that's the girliest i will ever get)
7. I need assurance but i never ever show it (well, up till now of course! ha!)
8. I love my family and friends more than anything else (except God of course :P), and once you're in the circle (like in Meet The Parents/ Fockers) you'll never ever get out! Muahahahaha!
9. I'm secretly stalking someone else's blog that i found from a friend of a friend's blog. And i really look up to that person despite the fact that I've never met him or talked to him. The blog is kinda guiding my way through some tough times here. Now, THAT is random.
10. I wish that girls can really be swept off their feet by the perfect prince charming and that it will only happen once in a lifetime and it will last forever. That means, no more heartaches in this world! Yay!

---

Back to mixed emotions.

I suddenly miss my family a lot a lot right now. BUT I hope I don't have to go home in 3 months.

3 months is the amount of time I have to get my act together before getting forced (not really forced but no other choice because no $$) to leave New York.

Totally do not know where I stand with God right now. I'm not going to lie.

"Do Not Litter! Pick Up Trash As You See It!"

Not knowing where I am with God, leads to the overdue apology. Now, this is getting personal so read if you want, skip if you're bored.

I wrote something to myself today. Not in my regular journal with God because I haven't been doing that in a long time. As i wrote, stuff just spilled out just like it normally does when i write about Him. This really made me think and well.. feel. Don't over think the content as you read. Think of the message. Because this made me realize that this is not the only time i've acted out like that. Hence, the public apology.

“I felt wanted and appreciated. It’s different than what I feel from God because this was something I could grasp. It was such a new thing to me. So new, that sometimes I would work harder for this appreciation. Was it worth it? I don’t think I can ever have the answer to that question.

This is the perfect example of taking God’s love for granted. At the back of my head, I always know that God is always there, He’ll always love me no matter what I do. So, I sin. I knowingly sin, with the thought that He’ll forgive me later. He always does.

I hate myself so much for doing that. If I were Him, I would hate me too. But He never does and that itself makes my heart ache even more. Sometimes, I can just imagine the disappointment in His face, the stabbing pain in His heart when I take His love for granted like that. I’m nailing Jesus to the cross and I’m spitting on His face.Yet He still loves me.

I dare not say I love Him because I feel so unworthy. But I know that that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t want me to run away in shame but to run to Him for comfort.”

So I just want to say, "I'm sorry, God. Thanks for still being there despite everything. Thanks for being my God."

---

Enough blogging for one day. Hope you caught my public announcement inside the whole mess up of a post ;)

Sorry about today's emo-ness. Daddy just left NY and i'm alone again :(

Love. Always.

A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Ahh.. many unfortunate events have struck me pretty life. Therefore, I shall put it in a post :)

OK. First of all, not everything can be posted here coz, you know, public domain, involves other people's feelings and also privacy, etc. etc.

BUT those who know everything that i'm going/ went through and willingly (or rather unwillingly but very much forced to by me) listened and counseled and advised, I love you guys very much and am very grateful that you guys are in my life and have not succumbed to that voice in your head that is begging you to kill me :P After all, love for your daughter, sister, cousin, friend is overrated riiiight? (i realize i might be pushing it.. heh heh)

Event 1.
Came back to NY from Malaysia. Having to say goodbye to family and friends just when i started to settle down and be comfy back home again. Fell very sick the night before my flight. Oh the pain.

Event 2.
Because i was heavily drugged on the plane, i snored worse than a pig with a flu on its death-bed with a crazy itch on its belly that it can't reach. I do not kid.

Event 3.
Mommy, don't kill me! But i got conned by the taxi guy at the airport :P Rugi like $15?

Event 4.
Went apartment hunting with friend. One day, kena pooped on by birds TWICE. Yes. In ONE day. Yes. The SAME day. Good luck you say? I say nooooooooo.

Event 5.
Complications with rent and lease. Lost a lot of money. I shall not go into details, but if you want to know more about it, you can always skype/ msn with me. Oh! I have AIM too! If that's how you roll, we can rock and roll yo! (i DO NOT know why i just said that)

Event 6.
Ok. This one needs a back story for you to fully understand. Well not really. So i have this notebook in which i put all my important papers coz i had to apply for something like an extended visa(?). Anyway, it had like my current visa, a check with a good amount of money on it, passport pics of me(that would be a real catch if anyone stole it. heh), forms and such in it because i did not want to carry a big folder around so i just stuffed everything into me notebook. So i was apartment hunting this one fine day (well, not so fine i would say) when the wind blew as strong as it could and blew my notebook out of my hands! At that point, there was nothing i could do to stop it! I RAN into the middle of the road, risked my life for what i thought was the most important of them all, my visa. Then while i was there, in the middle of crossroads, mind you, it's like the big box in the center of 4 traffic lights, i picked up all the extra papers as well la. Meanwhile, my check and my passport pictures nicely flew to different ends of the block. There was this nice man who helped me chase the check down the block and another nice lady who picked up my passport pictures. I had to run to each one of them, ignoring all rules and traffic lights, to get them. Finally, they all went back into the notebook. Ha! Eh! Don't say that i'm stupid. I can HEAR you! Hmph! Ok. Fin.

There is still Event 7, 8, 9. But i'm too lazy to type out full accounts of it. But yeah, do let me know if you want to lend an ear coz i'm always up for it (in conversation, so skype good. msn chat no good.)

"We should stop mass productions of instant noodles!!"

---

God did His "Rachel, here's a cute guy for you to look at." thing again. Boy does He understand me :) :) :) HAHAHAHAHA

---

Btw, if you are wondering what my weird statements in quotes are, they are my thoughts on how to save the environment and our health and well-being. And basically, every randomness that might appear in life :) Peace out homie! :P

Loves.

One oF Those Days...

You know, it's kinda late. And when it's late, I start thinking more crazy than usual. AND i tend to spell my words wrongly, something that i don't intend to do now but we'll see.

Anyway, i was thinking about how funny God is. Why is it that you never get the things you want but when it comes to things that you don't want, you get an abundance of it?

But i guess i should always keep in mind that God is preparing an opportunity for me and me for the opportunity :) I heard this line in church and it keeps me going even when i don't want to.

On a happy note, I'm planning a much needed vacation to jersey! I hope it works out! The planning has already come across some road bumps but i think that if it's carefully planned out and if there is a car in jersey ready for our use, it will be soooo awesome! I know i just came back FROM vacation.. But I've had more stress these 3 weeks than I've had for a long long time. So i deserve it :P hmph!

Why jersey you ask? Coz it's cheap, close by, and NOT New York :) And i've been hearing too many good things about it and i have to see if it lives up to said standards. Heh heh.

So again, i hope it works out! *cross fingers and close eyes tight tight*

Tonight was RockBand night again :) Played this one song so many times that my arms and fingers started to hurt. I was playing the guitar and we were on World Tour so we had to complete that level. I sang some of the songs and Stan was like, "I think i have to ask you to leave." And Janet was like, "Rachel, you're unreal." But, to be honest, i thought i rocked! Like a rockstarrrrrr :) yeah yeahhh!! *shakes head in crazy ecstasy* :P

OkThatsItFromMe! :)

It's Getting Late.

Hey World!

This is another nothing-t0-do post.

My blog is starting to get very boring with less and less pictures coz my computer is running out of space and i'm getting lazier and lazier.

I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow. Totally not excited about it.

Oh well, after tomorrow, I can sleep for as 24 hours straight. So whatevs. Hehe! :P

I've been going through a lot lately. But surprisingly, I am still at peace, happy, and loving life! :)

Only at random moments of the day, I will burst into crazy anxiety. But i can just feel God's hands over my heart, calming me down. As if to say, "I got your back!". I know that He does. And that makes me super happy and peaceful.

I'm not going to lie. It's has been an extremely crazy year. One that I am very grateful for though.

I love adventures and being free! That's all I have been doing all year. With a few stumbles, bruises and war scars, I shall be invading 2009 as a whole new person! Just a little wiser but still as happy and excited about life as ever! :) :) :)

Maybe my troubles are a blessing in disguise after all.. Hmm..

I'm glad that I'm doing film :) There's nothing else in the world I can imagine myself doing. Yay!

Feel like saying... : Mustard Seed! Banana Pumpkin Pie! Woot!

A Mystery.

I was looking through some pictures I took and I started to marvel at God's greatness.

I love how He is so mysterious in that way. Always only revealing bits and pieces of Himself. And when you least expect Him to, He basks us in His glory. In those moments, we just have to stop for a moment and admire His greatness and wonder. I believe that that makes Him smile as much as it makes us smile.

Blue, Purple, Pink & Orange. All at once!

Images like these, never cease to amaze me :)

I love you too =P

I love how He always surprises me and never fails to supersede my image of Him.

A Glimpse of Me.

I wrote an entry in my Journal today. Yes. I have a Journal. I'm a nerd. It's how i communicate with God and i've been very blessed and it kinda opens my eyes to His greatness. I totally encourage everyone to do it! :)

Anyway, i re-read it and i felt that i should post up a small portion of it here. Just a small bit ;)

Dear God,

I just can’t believe how amazing you are. How humble and gracious.

“I know you love me.” It’s from a song. And it hit me, 87% of the time, I really don’t know if you love me. Of course, I understand your love but it’s all only in theory. But then again, in the little moments in life when I experience what I call “The Epiphany”, you are really magnified and wonderful and amazing.

I don’t understand you and I don’t think that I ever will. Maybe somehow, there is beauty in that. You amaze me but yet I don’t know how. You leave me to bring me home. You hurt me to cure me. You make me foolish to give me wisdom. That’s how beautiful you are.

Your love never ends and never fails. Your wisdom and your ways are beyond comprehension. I know you will move mountains for me.

I feel foolish to have ever faltered or doubted you. I feel ashamed that sometimes I don’t trust your love. And I feel sorry that each time I do these things, it breaks your heart.

Ok. So that was it. I hope it encouraged you like it encouraged me :)

Have a nice day!